Things I’ve learned since being a mother that friends never told me:
1) No one needs you until you enter the bathroom. Then they will mistake the phrase “I’m in the bathroom” as “please open the door.”
2) Responding to your 4 year old when they tell you that you are mean with “I know you are but what am I” will get you many disgusted looks in the grocery store.
3) You will discuss poop, it’s colors, it’s smell and it’s frequency with other intelligent adults with such intensity that you anyone watching but not listening would think you were discussing strategic global initiatives.
4) Your body will be inspected and touched by so many strangers in the hospital that you will ask for a hot-line number to call.
5) You care more about bringing sleep back than bringing sexy back.
6) You will carry an expensive extra large diaper bag that has everything in it but baby food and diapers.
7) You should sleep when the baby is sleeping is a great rule but once you are sleeping the baby no longer is.
8) Your husband will consider watching you get dressed as “date night.” He may even give you flowers afterwards.
9) Remember not to facebook that you only shower every three days. No one will want to sit next to you at soccer practice.
10) Sometimes you can understand why some animals eat their young. You will feel strongly enough about it that you will mention this theory to the random clerk at the grocery store.
About jill
My diaper bag was the free one from the hospital and it always had diapers in it. That is probably why it always stayed in the car!